Tip #7: It’s Never personal
Transform your job search with 20 Job Search Tips in 20 Days
This email is part of a series “20 Job Search Tips in 20 Days”. Every day in December, you’ll receive a job search tip for career changers.
Job Search Tip #7: It’s Never Personal
The job search is anything BUT personal, yet it feels VERY personal.
It’s important to distinguish between the Personal and Professional. When something is ‘personal’ it feels like it’s related to your sense of self. Nothing in the job search is an attack on your sense of self - so if the job search feels personal, it’s important to take steps to distance your self-worth from the job search and focus on building your self-confidence.
Let’s take a look at what’s so personal, or impersonal, about the job search. Below are three examples that feel personal but are not a personal judgment on who you are.
➡️ Sending Applications
Hitting the apply button can feel scary. But why? When you are compounding the action of applying with the outcomes you’re seeking, you can start to feel like things are just not working. And that’s true, because applying to jobs is the most impersonal action you can take.
Applying is a one-sided process where you fill out and application and hit send. No feedback. No reward. This causes anxiety for job seekers.
Instead, remove the expectations of an outcome from sending applications. Simply apply to apply.
There is no reason to expect anything from the application because it’s inherently impersonal. You have connected with no one, so drop all expectations that your application ‘means’ something. Most job applications are the LEAST important action you can take.
➡️ Connection Requests on Linkedin
When networking, you’re probably sending connection requests to new people. Asking for a connection certainly feels more personal, it’s certainly more personal than applying. However, keep in mind that not every person you ask to connect with is interested in responding.
Some people are happy where they are, without responding to new connections.
Some people rarely check their Linkedin.
Some people might have too much going on right then to respond. You never know.
Networking with new people through connection requests is rarely personal. No one is obligated to respond, and that’s not because ‘they don’t like you’. Get out of your own head to acknowledge that you don’t know what’s going on in another person’s life. It’s not personal if you don’t get a response, don’t sweat it. Move on to the next person.
➡️ Interviews
Ok, so you are doing interviews! Congrats 🎊 Interviews are a formal way to get to know you and your professional experience. Yes, Interviews CAN be personal but most of the time, even when you feel you connected with the interviewer, the interview itself is NOT personal. Why?
Managers have open roles that they need filled with specific people who are a good match on both personality and skillset. When Managers are interviewing candidates, they will likely choose the best combination of these traits. That means, if you are a great fit in the personality but not a great fit in the skillset, you are unlikely to get passed to the final rounds of interviews.
Have you ever gotten the feedback that the whole team “loved meeting you” but you’re not being moved to the next round? That means you were a great personality fit but not a match in the skillset required. That’s OK!
Due to the current competition, there are a lot of talented job seekers, so you have to stand out not only in your personality but also match your skillset to the job. That’s determined in multiple ways, including technical interviews and real-time case study presentations.
Candidates are usually not signaled out because they have an amazing personality, though it can happen! Most times, if the interview doesn’t lead to an offer, there is a mismatch in the skills the Manager is looking for. It’s NOT personal. Go back and find projects to upskill. Apply to more jobs and network with more people. The right match will happen.
Don’t confuse rejection in the job search for a rejection of yourself.
Build up your confidence in yourself
Taking things personally is often connected with feeling like you’re not worth it, which is linked to your sense of self-worth. If you are having a hard time bouncing back from rejection, focus on building up a sense of self-confidence. That can even mean building new projects to upskill.
Let’s look at an example:
Carla was job searching for months and coming up against mindset blocks when interviewing. She had amazing design work but didn’t think it was that good enough. Once she worked on building her confidence in her work and some new work experience, she was able to attract the right kind of company that valued her work.
Read the full story here:
To everyone job searching during the holidays… you got this, keep going 🌟
If you missed them, here are 3 previous tips: