3 Essential skills you don't learn on the job
It is well known that you learn a significant portion of your work skills, on the job. Yet, acquiring technical skills like programming or writing a business plan are not the only skills you need to successfully do work. Working professionally usually involves working with others.
So where do you learn the skills that are key to working with others? Skills like connecting on a deeper level with your coworkers, managing anxiety, accepting feedback and navigating asks for promotions and salary raises. Often, these skills have little or no voice in work discussions.
When you start a job, a lot of things happen at once. You meet new people, learn about new projects, get integrated into the daily meeting with the team. If your company is thoughtful, you also go through a clear onboarding experience to get up to speed on the projects and rhythms of work.
However there is a lot left unsaid and unmentioned in the ways in which work is conducted. How work gets done in a company is unique to the culture of the organization and is continually built through the people they hire.
A lot of emphasis is made on what needs to get done, yet the important elements of ‘how’ it gets done is left to assumptions and unspoken expectations. And though leaving you to determine how work is done, may be intentionally left open to personal preference, there are certain processes that are best practices that may not be known to you simply because you never saw them modeled through others.
With a manager that is supportive and empathetic, you can receive important information on how to best handle a situation, yet this support is a two way street, because it’s usually up to you to bring up questions to your manager. The quality of your questions is related to the quality of the answers.
In reality, most of how we do work is left up to personal habits and preferences. So unless you are paired with a mentor who can provide examples of how to lead your own career without relaying on others to tell you what to do, you are left to your own devices to find the best ways to lead, yourself, others and your career.
So more specifically, what kinds of things do you not learn on the job? Here are three essential skills that are not often taught in the work environment:
How to ask the right questions
How to give and receive feedback
The art of listening to another’s point of view
How to ask the right questions
Value is found not in the answers but in thoughtful questions.
When you are hired, you might think the most valuable asset is your technical knowledge or previous work experiences. These elements do hold value, but they are not the only skills that are valuable. What is misunderstood by those getting hired to do a job is this: your value lies in the way you can think through a situation and ask questions. Your value is in your unique perspective. In the tech space, it’s often left unsaid that the ability to ask the right questions is one of the most valuable skills a person can have.
Asking the right questions helps you to:
Understand the situation/project
Creates context on the intention behind a solution
Gives you information to make more informed decisions
If you are at a startup, the company’s success relies on innovation. Asking questions are integral to the process of innovation.
One way you can start to unravel what questions to ask is to start with this question: “What do I need to know about ….”, which is a great starting pointing when getting acquainted with a new person, project or process. From there, you are able to identify additional questions that dive deeper into learning to understand something, so you can then share your perspective on it.
How to give and receive feedback
In work environments, feedback is everything. When done right, it helps create accountability, build relationships, and show appreciation or concern.
There are a few times feedback is part of the work process such as when working with designers, your feedback is crucial to their design process. Others times, you can be giving feedback on someone’s writing or receiving feedback on how you communicated an opinion. Feedback is an essential building block to a healthy work environment.
If there’s one takeaway you remember it’s this:
Feedback is neither good or bad. All feedback is relative.
Although feedback may trigger strong emotions, there is a non-judgemental way to give and receive feedback. That means listening to the other and taking in what they are saying. The means asking for clarifications. That means not taking every word of feedback at face value.
Feedback is integral to how you work with others. Whether you receive a positive note about your recent presentation or feedback on how you spoke too forcefully at a meeting, the key to the interaction is to take in the feedback first, respond second.
Too often we react to situations when we hear feedback on our work. This is natural. When giving feedback, start with a fact about the work itself, not the person, ensuring that you are talking about the work, not the person. When receiving feedback, stay curious and ask follow up questions when needed.
The art of listening to another’s point of view
Similar to giving and receiving feedback, it’s an art to be able to listen and respond to another’s point of view. In the fast paced environment we are used to work in, it’s easy to forget to take a moment to take in someone’s point of view.
What does it mean: to listen to another’s point of view?
Listening to someone means being present in the conversation. It means you are not thinking about something else. It means you are not waiting for them to stop talking so you can interject your opinion.
Listening to others helps build:
Healthy ways for conflict resolution
Emotional safety between team mates
Respect for each other’s opinion
It’s natural to want to interrupt, to say what you gotta say, to want to get your way. It’s also natural to listen deeply and respond thoughtfully. Styles of conversations are cultural and also vary based on team composition and project needs. Yet, when possible, stay present in the conversation, creating a healthy working relationship with your team.
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